Sunday, 14 September 2014

"Tis the Season

When I worked at the public hospital, it was an unwritten rule that we shouldn't be away around Father's Day. This wasn't some Plastics / Hand therapy department scheme to downgrade the importance of this particular "Hallmark" holiday; but rather a recognition that we were about to get busy. 

Father's Day means new toys for the boys. Chainsaw's, circular saws, drop saws, hammer drills. In short, power tools with a particular ability to cut and maim would soon be in the hands of a particular demographic that has no ability to read instructions. It doesn't matter how many sticker's those Dad's had to remove that said "Don't touch blade while it is spinning", they would always find a way to touch that blade, and lose those fingers. 

Guess what happens next...
It was the same at the end of tomato season, when the Italian women would come into the hospital having lost fingertips to a blender that jammed whilst they were making bottles of spaghetti sauce. Funny how I never ate any of the sauce given to me as a thank you present. 

Right now, it's the end of the footy season. That means lots of thumb and wrist reconstructions are coming through. Cricket is about to begin, so soon, I'll be up to my neck in mallet fingers. That, and ulnar sided wrist pain in tennis players and golfers.

One particular golfer is the inspiration for this short piece. The Shark, Greg Norman. Shame it wasn't a shark that cut into his left hand; the chainsaw story just isn't as interesting. Still, it's no surprise. Next time Greg, pay someone to cut down that palm tree that is obstructing your ocean view. Oh, and if you need someone to help you get those fingers curling around a golf club again, give me a call.

Look after those fingers,


1 comment:

  1. Hamish, I had the honor of taping/splinting Greg Norman's hand/wrist which he injured after hitting a sprinkler head while taking a chip shot in a bunker during the 1988 US Golf Open at The Country Club in Brookline, MA (I was working the first aid tent as a paramedic). If anything, he's consistent!! ~Lori :)